Disclaimer: This is not actually Beyonce-approved, but props to those who can catch all of the Beyonce references.
Earlier this month, Beyonce shattered the internet with her pregnancy announcement. She and Jay-Z will not be expecting just one, but two new additions to their picture perfect family. With over 10 million likes to date, Beyonce’s Instagram post went viral and completely blew the previously held #1 post out of the waters (sorry, Selena!).
While we are eternally happy for Beyonce and Jay- Z, we also know that not everyone is lucky enough to be crazy in love like the Carters are with each other. Currently, almost 50% of the U.S. population is single. So ladies, don’t worry. You’re not alone. I think we can all agree that there really is no day better than that dreaded day in mid- February that singles out and amplifies one’s singleness like no other. However, I’m here to help you channel your inner Beyonce and get you through this relentless day. #SingleLadiesUnite!
1. Get all your grooming done prior to the day. Look good, feel good, naw mean?
2. Stock up on wine. Whether you prefer red, white, or pink, make sure you have at least two bottles of it (FYI: two bottles for yourself. If you’re inviting other single ladies to your pity party, make sure they bring their own bottles cause sharing is not caring. Not today, Satan.)
3. And while you’re at it, walk down to the next aisle and grab all the cheese and salami you can carry because even though you are single, you are single with class and finesse.
4. So, some bad news, ladies. Valentine’s Day falls on a Tuesday this year, and it is not a holiday that typically qualifies for PTO. You’re going to have to suck it up and smile politely when you see your coworkers getting flowers and chocolates delivered to the office from their S.O.
5. Escape the unbearable and love-filled atmosphere by getting out of the office for lunch. You don't need to be seen alone at a restaurant, so hit up a food truck. Food Moves will help find you the closest one to your location for your lunch of shame.
6. Repeat step 4 for the remainder of the workday. You’re probably a pro at faking it til you make it by now!
7. On the way home from work, grab dinner from your favorite take-out restaurant. Remember, carbs don’t count today. So whether it’s Chinese, Italian, or a gallon of Blue-Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream, get whatever will make you feel the happiest.
8. When you get home, settle in, grab a glass of your favorite smushed grapes, and watch some quality television by tuning into this week’s episode of The Bachelor. Nothing like celebrating your singleness by watching Nick go on dates and touching faces with half a dozen girls.
9. After the third glass, you are allowed to cry. Go on. We’re not judging you. And when you’re done, just blame it on the alcohol. Hopefully, by now, you’ve passed out on the couch with gouda and cracker crumbs in hand, and you’ve successfully made it through Valentine’s Day!
While this list suggests that being single is the worst thing that can possibly happen to you on Valentine’s Day, I’m just poking fun at a wide-spread opinion that being single on Valentine’s Day is a taboo subject. Remember, ladies;, we run the world. We are flawless. We are irreplaceable. And while we may not wake up like Beyonce everyday, we are indubitably and irrevocably the best thing they never had.